The Long Shot
Kathy Griffin: A Hell of a Story
Gloria Bell
Shazam!
I probably see 50% of all movies on an airplane, admittedly not the ideal venue. The positive? You can shoulder surf movies other passengers pick to see if it looks good or bad. The other 50% I watch, gin & tonic in hand at home. On occasion, I get to the actual theater. This happens once or twice a year, so maybe the split is 49/49/2%.
My most recent trip to a theater was for Avengers Endgame. I had already seen it, but my boo hadn’t, and there’s a lot to take in, so we went when they brought it back to theaters for the release of Spiderman Homecoming. I think it may have been the last weekend before we finally got our schedules synched to go see it, and considering this was the 2ndrelease, the theater was packed. Walking in, the first thing I notice is a bassinet. Not a stroller, but something that looked like an old school baby buggy. It had wheels, but wasn’t intended for humans that could hold their heads up. Ugh.
Of course, it doesn’t take long before this baby was fussing in a loud theater of a super hero movie. Consistent with other life choices, the guardian of this baby saw no reason to remove the crying, fussing human from the theater. Surprisingly, it was over 2 hours into the 3-hour movie before a fellow moviegoer suggested she remove the distraction future Nobel Laureate. The adorable bundle of joy remained. Loudly.
During the closing credits the guardian of the baby starting yelling at the person who suggested she remove the crying child, claiming that they sold her a ticket for the child. The logic is lacking, obviously. It wasn’t the presence of the child alone that was the problem. The theater allows me to bring my phone in as well, but other patrons would be within their rights to ask me to take my conference call somewhere else. Beyond that, she claimed they allowed children as young as 2. I’m not a pediatrician, but there is no chance in hell that baby was anywhere near 2 years of age. I tell this story to remind all of you why most of us don’t go to the theater as often as we once did. It’s a crapshoot. The older you get, the better your couch looks.
Here’s a run down of movies I finally saw:
The Long Shot
Staring: Charlize Theron, Seth Rogan
This was a movie I actually considered seeing in the theater. It didn’t happen, but I like both stars, as well as the supporting cast, and it looked like it had potential.
Bottom line: It’s decent, not any better. Fine for a Netflix and chill night in, without the kiddos.
Like too many movies, it starts out pretty strong, and then struggles to transition to full storytelling. It’s almost forgivable because you do sense chemistry between Theron and Rogan. The second half of the movie deals with recycled adult humor (think: There’s Something About Mary), and completely unbelievable plot development. By the end, I felt short-changed on story and wished I spent a bit more time with the main characters navigating the more interesting sub-plots of the first half of the movie. Each of those is tossed away and forgotten in the second half.
Charlize Theron looks every bit the movie star. She is stunning. I get the sense she avoids roles that exploit her beauty, which is admirable, and has worked out wonderfully for her. Personally, I’d like to see her get a Pretty Woman or When Harry Met Sally. A classic rom-com to go with her other dramatic and action movies. She deserves it. This movie isn’t it.
Kathy Griffin: A Hell of a Story
Staring: Kathy Griffin
I am a fan. Have been for years. I’ve seen her live a few times, including the Laugh Your Head Off tour when it came through Chicago in 2018. This movie is part documentary, part concert film telling the story of a controversial photo and the aftereffects leading up to her Laugh Your Head Off tour.
Bottom Line: Funny and raw. The life-changing event is still playing out, but Griffin is able to put enough of it into perspective and wrap it in humor that it works. If dirty words bother you bring the sniffing salt, you’ll need it.
Obviously there’s a political bent to this documentary/concert film. This is not a ‘both sides have equal time’ storytelling. It is an important story, and Griffin covers a lot of territory. The documentary at the beginning is fine, but it’s when the film moves to the concert that the film really engages. You see a familiar Griffin, but where there was once a light-hearted take down of celebrities, you now see a grittier, rawer performer. Funny for sure, but with more heart and substance.
Gloria Bell
Staring: Julianne Moore
This was a plane movie (as in, I saw it on a plane). I’ve liked Julianne Moore since I saw her in Boogie Nights. I still can’t believe Kim Basinger won the Oscar for L.A. Confidential. That was some Hollywood bullshit. If you care to bore yourself, go watch L.A. Confidential. Basinger is in it for 5 minutes and doesn’t do shit. Julianne Moore as the damaged mom/porn star in Boogie Nights is unforgettable. So, that’s the backstory to why I’d choose, after my second super hero movie, this movie that I had never heard about while flying back from Europe.
Bottom Line: Oh, lord have mercy this was bad. I was sitting on a plane, watching a free movie and still felt ripped off.
Moore got her Oscar in 2015 for Still Alice, after again getting ripped of for her standout performance in Far from Heaven in 2003. My only explanation for this film is it was another Oscar vehicle, maybe? She’s really good in this role, but there is just nothing of interest to this movie. I don’t mind nuance and subtext, but this was just dull and boring, and I found myself disinterested in the main character, no matter how well acted.
Shazam!
Staring: Zachary Levy
The DC Universe is the B-team, to the Marvel A-team for sure. I had hopes that Shazam! would be an unexpected surprise, like Guardians of the Galaxy or Dead Pool.
Bottom Line: If you grade on a curve, Shazam! is a fair movie. It’s better than most of the recent DC attempts at super hero storytelling, which is a low bar. It’s family-friendly, as long as the ‘family’ isn’t adults wanting to be entertained.
DC was probably smart to seek out a different demographic with this movie. They are not going to compete against Marvel anytime soon. Making a movie that’s good for kids of all ages is a smart move. Ultimately, I was bored, bored, bored. Just to give you a little peak into my life, I had paused the movie to go refresh my gin and tonic, and on the way back, I said out loud to absolutely no one but myself, “I thought this was supposed to be good”.
The ending was satisfying enough, but not enough to want to watch this again.
Perspectives for when the bars have become too loud 